(Anglais) All Eyes On You

This is not an article on the importance of others and whether they look at you or not OR take their cue from you or not (fact is they unconsciously are).

This is article is about the importance of your look on yourself. 5 min read.

I'll give it to you straight: Every move you make, Every step you take, Every word you say... was, is and will be a grandiose statement and powerful example you set for others. More, a chance to weigh the value of who you want and deserve to be.

And yes, I feel like singing.

Now, think about the last time your team, your family, your partner, your baby, your dog even, got a bit tense. Just think about that time when you feel like SCREAMING for what looks like a good reason. Ask yourself "does this person or this situation is making me feel something, stressed, not enough, not loved, not heard... ?". I hate to break it to you, but you just gave your power away to anyone you were just thinking about. Your date, your coworker, your spouse, your boss...

I know it doesn't look like it but their is a lovely soul behind Kevin who just accused you of taking the last donut. "God damn Again I hate sugar!". Whatever your 'Donuts' are, disengagement at work, retaining informations, general negative attitude, criticism, scepticism, not following through, or diverse manipulation and toxic competitiveness and relationships, you need to forge your mind around the idea that whoever that person is: you are on a boat as a TEAM: Even if you're not responsible of anyone, and don't feel responsible for anyone, you are responsible for the clarity of what you stand for and how you communicate it, and your awarness of how it impacts your surrounding and the larger futur.

Buddhist train themselves to extend the concept of family to the entire world. Thus every person you meet will appear closer. The distance was in your mind first.

The fastest way to be responsible for everyone is to work on taking responsibility for yourself. For everything in your life. SO you could take two seconds to breath deeply and say playfully: "You know what Kevin? YES I'm taking responsibility for the donuts. Thank you for pointing that out".

It still does look like you're taking the blame, which is not what Taking Responsibility is. What you're going to add, as the jedi communicator that you are, is what we call Understanding. it's Huge. "...Thank you for pointing that out to me... (NO not assh.le, his name is Kevin). >> "...sounds like you really need donuts in your life...(double pose)

Here you assess his deeper feeling. No denying. No reactions, or drama. and now Kevin has to speak. He could decided to walk away but just meet me halfway, just imagine, it's a one on one meeting. Don't hesitate to add a quadruple dose of that Understanding / Compassion by going further with a calm and slow voice "... sounds like you feel stressed.. (pose, pose, pose).

Get to know who they are instead of reacting right away. You wouldn't react to a six years old calling you a 90 years old midget grand ma', so why would you for a donut? you hate sugary stuff.

Finally, and because you play the long game. Add boundaries. If done correctly, this might be the best reaction that you would have. Or proaction I should say. Boundaries are not excuses. Nor a way to catapult your fears, anxiety or guilt into the world. Boundaries are just a simple way to take care of yourself, to reinforce your sense of identity by saying "no" and reduce your anger and resentment. It is by setting and expressing them that you decide who has the right to remain in your visual field.

So "_Kevin ? _ yes? _ You got a minute ? _ ...mmh maybe? _I know we disagree on who took the last donut again, but I won't let you belittle me like that. I told you I hate sugary stuff, I would love to debate with you further but I'll prefer using my free time to banned donuts out of this company. Agree to disagree baby.

"When they go low, We go high" Michelle Obama.

If you read this, knows that we'll all encounter another, stronger disappointment. Another drama hiding in the corner. But will you choose to turn? Still remain a decision to make. To go higher or lower. To love or to fear. To put ourselves in the driver seat. They got their eyes on you. They need your unshakable exemplarity. If you struggle in a tough situation today. Celebrate. It is time to rise to the occasion. Life is giving you a chance to relax into something really uncomfortable. Limited and painful are the paths we choose for our thirty egos. Infinite and joyful are those, we choose for our legendary souls purpose.